And so it begins...

Now that the awkward "Hey I'm a diabetic" shpeal is over, let's go over some other key points.

- I have a very brash, sarcastic, sometimes offensive sense of humor. 
- I'm not blogging to make my mortgage payments, 
  so feel free to navigate away from the page if you feel compelled to do so.
- I have Colitis.
- I will rant about things including but not limited to: 
      cramps,
      bowl movements, 
      foods that help or worsen the aforementioned topics, 
      and my general disdain for colonoscopies.
- I have ADD. Really bad ADD. 
- Don't try to make sense of anything I write. 
- Freud couldn't analyze the shit in my head.
- I have recently become a business owner. 
- My main goal is to make pastries and cakes that are  pretty, delicious, and are available in sugar-free       versions that don't taste like the bottom of a boot. 
- I've had some pretty horrific experiences working for people and it's just not my bag, baby. 
- So far I have a kitchenaid, some kick ass recipes, and enough determination to make Donald Trump blush. 
- I have dated the scum of the Earth. Trust me. I have scorned and been scorned. 
- This blog will also include plenty, PLENTY, of shit talking/dirty snippets of my ever-expanding, shit-show of a "love" life. 

You've been warned.

I do hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy talking about myself.

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